Thinking about adoption?
YOU HAVE OPTIONS.
We offer free options counseling and support that allows you to make the adoption/parenting plan that is right for you. We are here to help!
ADOPTION MYTHS & FACTS
Myth: A caring mother would never give up her child.
Fact: Birth mothers do not “give up” their children. Rather, they lovingly make an adoption plan for their child. For many of the women ABI works with, their adoption plan is made in selflessness and a desire to provide the best possible life for their child.
Myth: My child will hate me.
Myth: Adoption is a reckless and irresponsible answer to an unplanned pregnancy.
Fact: Making an adoption plan for your child shows strength, great love for your child, and selflessness. ABI greatly admires our birth mothers as we know the decision you have made was not an easy decision, but a very loving decision. ABI counselors work with our birth mothers to ensure you feel confident that you are making the best decision for your child, whether that is adoption or parenting.
Myth: Nobody can love a child as much as a biological parent.
Myth: I’ll never hear from my child again or know how they’re doing.
Myth: My child will show up on my doorstep in 20 years with a great deal of emotional baggage.
Fact: ABI provides a great deal of education and training to our adoptive families so that they can raise your child to have an understanding of their adoption story and a sense of the great love that you have for the child. Depending on the level of relationship you desire to have, you are able to explain to the child yourself the reasons for your decision to make an adoption plan, whether that be by letter, call, or in person.
THE THREE TYPES OF ADOPTION
There are three different levels of communication and relationship between the birth family and the adoptive family. There is no right or wrong choice; you can choose whatever level of relationship you feel most comfortable with. Your ABI counselor will discuss this with you during your meetings, and answer any questions or concerns that you might have regarding your ongoing contact with the adoptive family and your child.
An open adoption is best described as direct contact between the birth family and the adoptive family. The two families often exchange full names, phone numbers, email addresses, etc. The two families will maintain contact with one another after the adoptive placement. Contact can include letters, emails, telephone calls, texting, Zoom/Skype, and even visits. ABI is facilitating more and more open adoptions as families desire to maintain a relationship that can provide health and wholeness to everyone involved.
In a semi-open adoption, the biological family and the adoptive family have contact which is facilitated through the adoption agency. ABI will typically receive letters and pictures from one family, and then forward them on to the other family. Many birth families desire to know how their child is doing, but maintain their privacy in doing so. A semi-open adoption provides that confidentiality. ABI ensures that your privacy will be protected.
Closed adoptions occur when the birth parents and adoptive parents agree to share no information with each other, and no continuing communication occurs. In a closed adoption, no letters or pictures are exchanged after placement. Generally, ABI does not encourage closed adoptions as closed adoptions do not benefit the birth family, the adoptive family, or the child. Therefore, ABI requires all adoptive families to submit regularly scheduled letter and pictures updates to the agency. We place these updates in your file, and you are able to request them whenever you desire.
ADOPTION PLAN FAQS
"I haven't gone to the doctor yet. How do I find a doctor, or pay for medical care?"
It is very important that you seek medical attention, for both your and the baby’s good health. A good way to find a doctor or clinic is to talk with a friend or family member who has had a baby or may know that you are pregnant and see what she has to say. Or, you can call a pregnancy center or All Blessings, since they often have established relationships with medical providers in the area. As far as paying for medical care, you may qualify for Medicaid. Many pregnant women qualify for the Medicaid benefits, but if you do not and are not covered by private insurance, there are other resources available to help. If you choose adoption, your baby’s adoptive parents could help with medical and hospital expenses, in addition to the other essentials necessary for life if needed.
“My family does not know I am pregnant and am thinking of adoption, and I am not sure how or if to tell them. What should I do?”
This is a hard one. The first thing we must consider is your safety. If you are worried that by telling your family you could be hurt, please let your adoption counselor know right away so she can organize community resources to help protect you. However, if safety from physical harm is not a reason why you haven’t told your family, but are mostly concerned that they will be angry with you, there are lots of good ways to break the news. We think it is very important to have at least one person in your family or circle of friends who can support your choices. All Blessings has articles for having the adoption discussion with family and can help you with this if needed. But of course, this is all up to you. You know your family best, and if you think it’s a better idea that no one knows, then you can certainly choose to keep this private.
“How do I know that my baby will go to a good family?”
“If I am choosing adoption, what happens at the hospital after the baby is born? Will I get to hold the baby? Do I have to hold the baby?”
This is all up to you! It’s a good idea to tell your nurse when you come in to have the baby that you are making an adoption plan, but to make that easier you can write down your wishes and hand it to your nurse when you are admitted. All Blessings has a Hospital Plan document which your adoption counselor will review with you in order that you can express your desires for the adoption process, and present that Hospital Plan to the hospital staff. The nurse can put your plan in your file, and this way you don’t have to have the whole I’m-doing-an-adoption conversation over and over again with new nurses. Most of the time, women choose to hold and spend time with their babies while in the hospital, but it might be that you’re nervous about seeing the baby and how you will feel. If it helps, you can have your adoption counselor present at the hospital for your visit with the baby to support you at this emotional time. However, it might be that you decide not to see the baby at all because it may feel too painful to tell him or her goodbye later, and that’s okay, too. You certainly don’t have to visit in the hospital at all, but its okay if you change your mind either way after the baby is born.
“Can I name the baby?”
“Who will take the baby home from the hospital?”
Hopefully, these answers have provided helpful information, but it is very likely they will also raise questions that you might not have realized you have! Please feel free to call and speak with an adoption counselor about all of your parenting or adoption planning questions and concerns – it is her job to assist you in a private, confidential, and honest manner. The counselor’s role is to educate and support you and your baby, no matter if you choose adoption or parenting.
ABI has many wonderful prospective adoptive families for expectant mothers to choose from. Listed below are many of our families. If you are interested in learning more about the available waiting families, please contact us.
JOANNA & DAVID
ERICA & CODY
LAURALEE & ANDY
MADI & ALEX
ASHLEY & JEREMY
LINDSEY & TYLER
IRENE & BRADLEY
If you are interested in looking at more profiles of prospective adoptive families, please contact our offices.
THE ADOPTION PROCESS
The expectant mother contacts All Blessings.
On the day of hospital discharge, the baby will be released into the care of ABI. ABI will either place directly with the adoptive family or into temporary care home according to the preference of the birth mother.
ALL BLESSINGS INC
920 Frederica St., Ste 105
Owensboro, KY 42301