Eleanor’s LightI’ve tried to find the words so many times to describe Eleanor’s birth mom, but every time I go to write I just cry. So while these words will never be enough or come close to measuring up, I want to say a few things. On the left is her hand and on the right is mine. Eleanor’s name means ”light” and if there’s one thing we undoubtedly believe, it’s that her life is light in this dark world. I will spend the rest of my days encouraging that light of Jesus to shine in her.

Although I will never share any identifying details of Eleanor’s birth family for their privacy, I will also spend the rest of my days showing my love and appreciation for them. Eleanor’s birth dad is hilarious and his vision and drive to provide for his family is truly so inspiring. When I think of Eleanor’s birth mom, I think of two words- selfless strength. I know a lot of strong, selfless women in my life but she tops them all. She is so kind, incredibly funny, and a sweet sweet friend. She is absolutely beautiful and her smile lights up the room. Our time spent with them will be some of the sweetest times of our lives. We have the most incredible relationship with them and truly consider them friends- what a gift from the Lord!

We’ve rejoiced together and we’ve grieved together and we look forward to years of friendship. To serve as a reminder for the rest of our lives, we went and got tattoos together of a half sun so when they match up they make a whole sun. I told her that I hoped every time she looked at this hand, she was reminded of the beautiful light she is to us and each time I look at my hand, I will be reminded of her selfless strength and the charge she has given me to raise Eleanor to shine the light of Jesus in this world.

I’m forever grateful for Eleanor’s birth mom and hope she always knows just the fraction of gratitude I have for her that she chose life and that she chose us as her family. Adoption is messy in so many ways, but the Lord’s hand is so evident in all of it and we praise Him not just for the gift of Eleanor, but for her birth family who have become family to us.

🤍  – Payton